The Problem: It seems as though from the second I was born I've had the worst luck. My childhood was bad, my teenage years were horrible, now my adult life is even worse.
I lost my children to my x-husband, no I'm not a drug user, nor do I drink. I dated someone who was very abusive and I had to call the police a few times. With the state coming in to make sure the kids were ok it was all held against me plus the fact that I suffer from panic disorder, OCD etc. I've been in a couple of hospitals was all used in my x-husbands favor. My step father used to tell me "Your never going to amount to poo" and well I havn't. I'm on social surety @ 28. I'm a good looking women did everything I could to always be at the top of my game played sports, had lots of friends in high school, did some drugs here and there but nothing to major. I just want out. I would be happy sitting in a metal hospital for the rest of my life I can sit and star at nothing all day, or when I'm around friends I more or less just go with the flow never really feeling like I'm happy just "THERE". My friends adore me and think I'm strong, men stare at me all the time like I'm a piece of meet and women seem to run from me or hate me.
I go day by day thinking things will get better but you know what it's been almost 17 years and not a thing has changed.
What is the meaning of life, we are only given 100 years and half of us are lucky to get 50 out of that.
Why when you say you want to kill your self everyone jumps. Who is another person to judge me why not help me.
Would you help someone who was hurt on the side of the road?
I think there should be a web site for people to openly talk about offing them selfs or doing it and signing off.
I don't have it in me (just yet) it's all coming, I think it's the start of a build up. I want to keep the fight, keep working my ass off to get my kids back, I want my life back.
Karma. I am Pagan and I do my best to be honest, caring, loving, and kind. And I am often returned with wonderful things but then I have days like today where I just want to say GOOD BYE.....
Does anyone know anyone who has killed them self?
You truly never know just how much pain someone is in, don't judge them or mock them. You never know if the table is going to turn and you too will be crying out for help.
What is the best way to say good bye, with out thinking about it a million times trying to find the right poo to do it with.
Asked by: No more pain at
07:35:39 PM, Wednesday, July 09, 2008 PDT
Advice
Oh wow. You deserve some real advice just for typing all of that. All I can say is if you have the money, get out of town and go somewhere new. Then you could start fresh.
Mach 3
I'm so sorry for you, I almost cried. I know you want your life back, but God might not want that and he might have something better in store for you (I don't know what religion Pagan is, though). Just try your best and good will come to you. I wish the best for you.
deadstarlightYou need to speak to someone that has had a breakdown that has recovered. Venting, from time to time, will help, and discussing problems in therapy only helps if you believe that help is beneficial, however, if you go into it thinking you're never going to get any better, then the chances are, you will privately slip into an unreturnable depression. Once that begins to happen, it is a downward spiral, and you start to feel like a WWII plane without a tail. You can see the ground and the certain destruction headed at you, and no matter how hard you try to pull back, you start to feel like the ground and destruction is getting closer and closer. How do I know? I've been there. 15 years ago, and three suicide attempts later, one bullet through the mouth, and two drug overdoses. Does one learn after this? Perhaps. Did I? What I learned was that people want to keep you where you are because they like the control of helping you, and once you have healed, the uselessness passes to them. I feel your pain.
The Doctor.Im sorry that you are going through all of this. I can't say that i have been through anything like what you have been through. I am only 16 but i can only imagine the pain you may be going through. Things probably seem like they will never get better....like the world is AGAINST you. But don't give up! Fight for your kids!!!! You seem like a great person!!! If you need anything let me know!
**Jesika**TL;DR
Read the Bible and "The Magic of Thinking Big." Bibles are free and "Thinking Big" is 10$
Seriously.
Love
Money
Career
Family
Friends
General