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38 yr old male who has never dated in his entire life

Question:
Created by: calOr at 10:26:33 PM, Sunday, April 09, 2006 PDT

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Just curious whether there was anyone here who feels so unattractive they have never dated in their entire lives. I know a guy whose 38 and extremely shy. He is college educated and fairly good looking, but he has never had a date in his entire life -never kissed a woman, and is terrified of the prospect of asking any woman out. So, consequently, he never has asked a woman out and has isolated himself even further. He is always looks at women. In fact thats all we talk about.But he figures its for everyone else, but him. He wants to the break the shell, and ask some women out at his work, but he is so worried about the "unknown" or rejection. He is regular flirt and openly talks to women, but he just can`t get to the next level. My feeling is give him support, confidence and the courage to ask these women out. If he has talked to them for a while, most likely they will accept. But even then, if they dont. My advice, no matter how good looking or charming you are, not every woman is going to accept your invitation. It`s simply a numbers game. He is concerned that he has no experience either in simple kissing or sex. I just say, if you are love it will just happen. And I believe that for the most part. I guess I am giving him the correct advice. But if anyone else has some input, please feel free to post.

CalOrApr 10 2006 5:29am


There is nothing wrong with a 38 year old male who has never dated in his entire life.

AnonymousApr 10 2006 8:24pm
I know some guys like that, yet they are pretty damned homely.My Uncle is 5`2 and balding, and at 42, he is still single and never married. I have never seen him with a woman in my 37 years on this planet. Are you sure he is this "good looking guy" you speak of? I, like most girls, usually approach attractive men first. We don`t wait!!! My hunch is that he isn`t that physically desirable....but you know he is a good guy and love will eventually come his way! Just don`t push to hard and have PATIENCE!

JaniceApr 10 2006 9:45pm
He may not know it yet ok? The guy is gay! Nuttin wrong with dat either.

AnonymousApr 10 2006 10:38pm
Poor bastard but Janice is correct. Women don't hesitate to make the first move (Thank God for that too! I've never been very good at asking women out). I have always admired the approach of some guys who ask out almost anything with two legs and a vagina. They are right. They are absolutely right! If she says no then no harm done, she should be flattered and the guy moves on. If the guy is a virgin, maybe he should at least hire a prostitute to help him.

AnonymousApr 11 2006 2:23pm
Actually, some women like the idea of deflowering a virgin. He ought to aim for the real dominant type.

DanApr 11 2006 5:41pm
Hey.. Practice with some fat chicks that he really doesnt care about, just so he can get use to being around a woman. After awhile, as he gains confidence, he could ask out those he really wants. IMO, might be cheaper than a prostitute!

AnonymousApr 12 2006 3:21am
I agree with Janice. It isn`t the guys fault. There is something about him(either physical and/or personality) that is turning away women. There probably isn`t much that can be done. The cold harsh reality is that some people are just not genetically compatible for relationships. They just cannot attract the opposite sex. He`s gone 20 yrs of his adult life and not one woman has indicated an interest in him. She probably doesnt smile or respond to his attempts at conversations -- SO WHY THE HELL WOULD HE ASK HER OUT???. Women always give you a signal that she is interested, and thats when you act. 90 percent chance the next 38 yrs will be the same for him. I would forget about getting him a girlfriend and instead develop a good network of friends that will help fill the void.And if he has strong sexual desires,(which he probably does).Get that guy to a hot prostitute on a weekly basis. If he gets laid like that every week, his sexual needs will have been met! BELIEVE ME, HE WILL BE A HAPPY CAMPER!!

JohnApr 12 2006 8:21pm
I agree with Janice. It isn`t the guys fault. There is something about him(either physical and/or personality) that is turning away women. There probably isn`t much that can be done. The cold harsh reality is that some people are just not genetically compatible for relationships. They just cannot attract the opposite sex. He`s gone 20 yrs of his adult life and not one woman has indicated an interest in him. She probably doesnt smile or respond to his attempts at conversations -- SO WHY THE HELL WOULD HE ASK HER OUT???. Women always give you a signal that she is interested, and thats when you act. 90 percent chance the next 38 yrs will be the same for him. I would forget about getting him a girlfriend and instead develop a good network of friends that will help fill the void.And if he has strong sexual desires,(which he probably does).Get that guy to a hot prostitute on a weekly basis. If he gets laid like that every week, his sexual needs will have been met! BELIEVE ME, HE WILL BE A HAPPY CAMPER!!

JohnApr 12 2006 8:52pm
He sounds like he has clinical depression. If he feel so downtrodden and worthless to the point that he feels he deserves no one, he needs professional help fast.

AnonymousApr 13 2006 7:06am
I think most people here are the real fools. What does it matter anyway? What does he really lose? Life is short, and everyone will die. We always praise relationships, but they're really no more important than being happy in general. So what this guy needs most of all, is to overcome his fear in general, more than finding the right person for himself. Everyone has their demons, his are just different ones.

TufoApr 13 2006 5:31pm
He needs to overcome his fears about women and his own inadequacies before he thinks about any relationships. I totally agree!!

AnonymousApr 13 2006 6:12pm
Look, we are making a big deal out of nothing. People can start dating at 18 or even 83. Its never too late.

AnonymousApr 14 2006 1:12am
Dating a fat chick would not be cheaper than a prostitute. He'd have to take it out to dinner and feed it. That would be excessively costly. I can't even imagine! And then once he realizes what he's done with that obese body. Oh no! It would scare him off women for life. God! He'd be better off doing some farm animal, at least there'd be no danger of it telling anyone.

IMPORTANT!Apr 15 2006 11:01am
Omg I can`t believe what I am reading! The bottom line is that it is no big F&cking deal whether he dates or never dates. I, personally couldn`t care less. Whether he is 18 or 58, if he wants a girl, he`s just gonna have to get out of this self protection mode and roll with the punches like the rest of us. We`ve all been "shy". fear of rejection is natural reaction to an unknown situation. In order to gain any self confidence is by facing his fears(that means taking risks!) and DOING! It`s hard work but nothing in life comes without a price. If he remains dateless throughout his natural life, he has noone to blame but himself.....
Me

MeApr 15 2006 2:04pm
I have known guys like that. And in all cases they were still living with their parents. All of it was economic, but a guy especially cannot operate while living with parents. This one guy also never dated in his life until he moved out of his parents when he was 35. He stayed there to help his mom caring for his dad, who had alzheimers. I bet this poor fella is still living at home. If thats the case, he might as well forget dating and take the hooker route. At his age though lets hope he moves out soon!

KenApr 15 2006 5:56pm
I strongly object to the messages above by: Anonymous, John, IMPORTANT, nd Ken. Shame on them for recommending prostitution!! Don't they realize that prostitutes are infected with many diseases, including AIDS!?!? Despite advances in technology, 2 out of 3 sexually transmitted diseases have NO CURE. Do you want the 38 year old male who has never dated in his entire life to become the 40 year old male with herpes and AIDS?

Kung Fu MasterApr 15 2006 9:42pm
Just find the guy a woman....maybe try one of these online dating sites.
He deserves to be loved like anyone else

Easter is a time for renewalApr 16 2006 6:37am
He needs a woman alright...but not a companion. A mommy( a whole bunch of Mommies). This man requires alot of love and nurturing from a good female therapist, who will take him on her lap, and then walk by the hand as he confronts repressed fears and insecurities. You need to get him to that therapist fast, that way he can get diagnosed and access the social services that will give him ALL the unconditional hugs and kisses that HE DESERVES!

KarenApr 18 2006 7:21am
Maybe deep down he alone understands that he doesn't deserve any hugs and kisses. Maybe deep down he accepts that he's a selfish, destructive SOB. Apparently he's spent 38 years ruining his own life so why spill that burden onto somebody else? I say he should just remain alone and rue in his own self-loathing. Let that spirited attractive girl (whoever she may end up being) find a guy who will make her happier. The question should be "Does any woman deserve a load as heavy as this guy?"

AnonymousApr 19 2006 3:20pm
My "other" vote is that he's just a loser. Big deal. Somebody's got to be.

AnonymousApr 19 2006 3:23pm
the poor guy is sick. he doesnt need a companion, he needs a psychiatrist

AnonymousApr 19 2006 5:18pm
Alot of hateful people here. He needs help, not hate. I doubt he will ever have a companion, but just a date could help him. He`s a great guy and women love him, but he just needs the courage to ask some woman on a date. He`s so scared of rejection because he thinks he`s ugly, yet ppl say he`s handsome. He needs to face his own fears.

calOrApr 19 2006 5:26pm
Okay..here is my two cents worth. There are all kinds of reasons a guy might not want to date. Maybe he is 38, and never dated in his, but it was his decision. He still is a selfless person and has self cnfidence What anonymous was saying is that his self centeredness and indulgence is too much for any woman to handle.-- an extreme burden.Before any relationship he needs therapy to get rid of this excess baggage and maybe focus his attention outside of himself.

two cents worthApr 19 2006 5:44pm
The man is gay. He may not know it, but he is. I`m not being crude, but maybe he can go down to some gay bar.He just might be suprised and find true happiness, and finally have peace with himself!

CraigApr 19 2006 6:47pm
Because if he were really a heterosecual guy, he would have hired out for a hooker just to curb those sexual urges....he did not. He`s been fighting it, and has been in denial, but in the end the only way he will have true happiness is to accept it.

CraigApr 19 2006 6:54pm
If I had not heard about his college, I would have thought he was mentally retarded. His emotional reactions are that of a 12 yr old

AnonymousApr 19 2006 8:26pm
Maybe deep down he alone understands that he doesn't deserve any hugs and kisses. Maybe deep down he accepts that he's a selfish, destructive SOB.It sounds like you are describing your miserable self Apparently he's spent 38 years ruining his own life so why spill that burden onto somebody else? I say he should just remain alone and rue in his own self-loathing. Let that spirited attractive girl (whoever she may end up being) find a guy who will make her happier. The question should be "Does any woman deserve a load as heavy as this guy?" <---You are one spiteful lonely bastard. I doubt you could even get a date if you wanted one. Hey I have an idea...why don`t you haul your fat self back to your trailer. Take out that revolver..point it at your head and pull the trigger! You are one miserable mother f*cker. And the world doesnt need the likes of you. The guy sounds like a kind hearted - gentle soul, who is crippled by fear, And HE deserves all the love he can get. On the same token, what woman would ever date a self serving monster like you?

DanApr 20 2006 8:08am
Please! The guy is weak. Not a single woman has ever asked him out in 38 years!?! Hitler never dated either until he met Eva Braun and I think there might be a connection. CalOr tells us the guy is attractive etc but that's his opinion (and there are a lot of handsome *ssholes). Evidently it's an opinion he has yet to share with one solitary woman who has also met this guy or he would have found ONE date somewhere along the road. In the very least the guy sounds neurotic. How can anybody with a scintilla of self worth not find himself on one date in his entire life? If he has such a low opinion of himself, there must be a reason for it. Get his own poo together first, then worry about dating. If he hasn't the initiative to do that much then all he is looking for is to a mommy to do it for him and I'm not his mommy. If the guy ever decides that he's worth loving, that he can give enough to somebody, he'll WANT to share himself with another, just like the rest of us, until then, be alone. It's what he deserves and pooh pooh if his fragile feelings are hurt just because an anonymous stranger suggests there's more to it than being shy.

AnonymousApr 20 2006 12:03pm
I agree, if the guy is really attractive, usually the women approch him first. For us average looking guys, we always have to make the first move. yes but maybe the guy is so unattractive(physically), he cannot get a date.And he knows it It may not be his fault at all. There are people I know of, who honestly cannot get a date, even if they tried. He may just have to accept his fate.

observerApr 20 2006 5:22pm
For instance I know alot of short guys(5`4 or under), who are just like this guy. But they have accepted it and focused their energy on other things. I know a guy who recently passed away at age 73. He never dated in his entire life. He was an ugly old chap 5`2 with a stumpy built. He tried countless times to get a date, but he never could. He just wasnt pleasing to the eye and had a gruff personality. He accetped his fate and went into the dog breeding business. The animals became his family or his "4 legged children". It was his animals that he lived for. BTW, he never had sex or a date in his entire life, but instead of moaning, he accepted his fate. And found some way to compensate for that void. He died a happy man.... My point is not everybody can date simply because of the laws of attraction.

observerApr 20 2006 5:40pm
There you go, Observer has it right so stop whining and get on with it. Do you think anybody really cared that the 73 yr old never dated? No! But they cared about his dog breeding.

AnonymousApr 20 2006 7:28pm
LOL but he never got a date out of it. I guess this is his "mid-life crisis"

AnonymousApr 21 2006 1:24am
No!!! Just get the guy laid first then he can worry about dating! He says he want to ask these women out. But his body is probably wreaking with pent up sexual tension. He may not know it, but all he really wants is some good sex. You get him laid, get years of sexual tension out of the way. Then you will notice that his confidence is restored and he will be a new man. I guy can`t live that long without getting laid. It`s unatural and inhumane.You seem to be his friend, so why didnt you see to it that he gets what he needs to operate? No wonder his self esteem is rock-bottom

VyperApr 21 2006 7:22am
If the 38 year old male who has never dated would workout in a gym at least 3 days a week and under the guidance of a certified trainer, within 2 years women will be running after him. I say this from personal experience: Whenever I go the gym and my muscles become visible, I suddenly become popular with women. Women I never saw before walk up to me and start squeezing my arm muscles. They don't say anything, they just start squeezing :-) This is a strange reaction considering that most women deny they consider muscles important; but their actions contradict their words.

Kung Fu MasterApr 21 2006 11:16am
"He is college educated and fairly good looking, but he has never had a date in his entire life -never kissed a woman, and is terrified of the prospect of asking any woman out. So, consequently, he never has asked a woman out and has isolated himself even further. He is always looks at women. In fact thats all we talk about.But he figures its for everyone else, but him. He wants to the break the shell, and ask some women out at his work, but he is so worried about the "unknown" or rejection. " A womans worst enemy "Maybe deep down he alone understands that he doesn't deserve any hugs and kisses. Maybe deep down he accepts that he's a selfish, destructive SOB"some woman needs to hug him alright -- maybe snap his spine:=-) "Please! The guy is weak. Not a single woman has ever asked him out in 38 years!?!" They all are weak, both physically and mentally."Hitler never dated either until he met Eva Braun and I think there might be a connection." The final result...An abuser "Maybe he ought to date a dominatrix if he wants a mommy. He might find the love of his life and SHE will literally BEAT some sense into him" Lets hope she beats that spineless weakling 6 feet under.HE("IT") DESERVES IT AND HOW APPROPIATE THAT IT WOULD BE A WOMAN :=)If word got out to all women about this "guy", he would be past-tense in no time :-)

Donna JacksonApr 22 2006 6:19am
Anonymous is sooo right!! He maybe gorgeous on the outside, but there maybe something inside his heart that drives women away. Please remember that women are not as shallow as men. We don`t judge the book strictly by its cover

AnonymousApr 22 2006 8:40am
Hey I never had my first date until I was 37, But my case w was about that I never had any money. didn`t have a decent car to take out a woman. And to top it off I also lived with parents they were also too poor to live on their own.I was not even concerned about dating because I was worried where our next meal was going to come from. Much of the time we lived on 400 calories a day.My point is you can`t love anybody else until all those basic heirarchy of needs are met in your own life first. I don`t know what this guys problem is. But some basic need is not being met in his own life. He needs to address that first before even considering dating. Because no one is going to do it for him but himself

BradApr 22 2006 9:37am
CalOr, Dan, whatever your name is, I gotta tell you, you are hillarious! You ask a question in a site that is overwhelmingly male about a guy (we assume it is you not a friend) who is so pathetic that they made a comedy on the same premise that is his life (40 yr old virgin). Then, when you don't receive the compassion you were seeking, you tell people to put a gun to their head and die. You actually want people dead because they suggest that you're too negative, you need to develop a more positive outlook. You don't know why you can't get a date?

too funnyApr 22 2006 4:28pm
ROFL PROBABLY ALL OF THEM ARE HIM!! He`s a busy man. Where the hell would he find the time to date?

AnonymousApr 22 2006 5:42pm
Donna Jackson, your murderous hatred of the 38-year-old-virgin is totally unjustified and frightening. You are more mentally ill than the 38-year-old-virgin.

04/22/2006Apr 22 2006 7:47pm
It`s a delicate subject because there are alot of hateful people out there. I am sure if he went public with any of this, he would come into harms way. IMO Miss JAckson is nore of a monster than being mentally ill. Unfortunately there are alot of people just like her.Thats what makes the internet a special place.YOUR SAFE AND ANONYMOUS AND YOU CAN SPEAK FREELY!! I don`t know if CalOr is the guy or not. I do know whoever it is he is being sincere. More importantly and frightenly, someone is really suffering out there and desperatly is crying for help. This guy is suffering from social anxiety disorder that probably was left untreated. He is miserable because of these irrational thought patterns that have prevented him from living a normal life

4/23/06Apr 23 2006 6:22am
All that being said. My advice to this person is to seek help immediatly. They have all kinds of meds that easily treat this condition. The fact that he never seeked help says to me that he probably doesn`t have any health insurance.That shouldnt matter. There are all kinds of programs for the uninsured. An anonymous person crudely mentioned that he can only help himself. Unfortunatly, HE PROBABLY CAN`T BECAUSE HE ISN`T THINKING CLEARILY! Now more than ever, he probably needs that "mommy" to gently, but firmly take him by the hand to get him the help he needs and deserves. After geting him on meds along with therapy, he`ll be thinking more clearily and feeling much better about himself. Only then should he ever consider dating

4/23/06 7:56 amApr 23 2006 6:59am
What a loser!!!Ok CalOr, we know its you are the guy!! Dude, how can we be sympathetic if you never have tried?? Thats like an unemployed guy saying he can`t obtain a job because he is afraid of the interview. You`re just going to have put yourself out there just like the rest of us. Life is full of anticapation and risk taking.If there was no anxiety in life you wouldn`t be living. "Love means letting go of fear"<-- and how true that is. Until you complete these tasks, don`t bother coming here or anywhere else asking for support. It just wont happen my friend....

Desert ratApr 23 2006 6:13pm
Here is some good news. It`s no big deal. Both of my parents didn`t marry till they were 40. It was the first relationship for both of them.My mother had been on just a few dates in her life, and didn`t lose her virginity till she was 28. She`s not much different that your or"friends" situation. Some people are just "late bloomers", and just cant get their sh*t together till mid life. Tell him, he is on the right track by facing his "shyness", and not putting it on the back-burner for a "later date". Tell him that 40 is now the new "30", and that best years of his life are yet to come.

BobApr 25 2006 6:23am
If he never had a date in his life it sounds like he is a "dog". I hate to say that but its true.Unfortunately, looks are the basis for relationships and getting dates. If he really wants it at this point of his life, he`s gonna have to spend money. If he is short and slim, he will need a personal trainer. If he is fat, he will need a program to lose weight. If he has an ok body, but has a funny facial structure(such as a droopy nose). He needs cosmetic surgery. If he is slim with a funny face, he will need all of these procedures. Personality of course is important, unless the poor SOB is down right ugly. In that case, nothing will help him except surgery. And if he really wants a life, it might be a worthy investment.

The Doctor is inApr 27 2006 6:48pm
I'm hoping that Donna Jackson will be past-tense in no time :-)

AnonymousMay 01 2006 9:52pm
Th old guy could be physically handicap now if he is short fat & balding he wouldn't be worth it, but Donna Jackson are some other ladys could use the money, and have some real fun with him for at least a little while... right?

AnonymousFeb 19 2007 2:37pm
#057 (Sun.) 2/25/07

UpdateFeb 25 2007 3:14pm
#0058 - (Wed.) 4/11/07

UpdateApr 13 2007 12:02am
maybe he doesnt really want it.

AnonymousMar 11 2008 7:00am
#0060 - (Wed.) * 11/19/08

UpdateNov 19 2008 10:51am
Maybe deep down he alone understands that he doesn't deserve any hugs and kisses. Maybe deep down he accepts that he's a selfish, destructive SOB. Apparently he's spent 38 years ruining his own life so why spill that burden onto somebody else? I say he should just remain alone and rue in his own self-loathing. Let that spirited attractive girl (whoever she may end up being) find a guy who will make her happier. The question should be "Does any woman deserve a load as heavy as this guy?"

I think anonymous 21 says it best!

AnonymousMay 13 2009 7:26am
I would say this guy is the normal one.

AnonymousSep 17 2009 9:12am
I WOULD HAVE BEEN OFF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE!!!

A Native New YorkerSep 22 2009 3:05am
This guy has a very serious issue; Not being a single. Just a life ruled by fear! He needs help!

AnonymousSep 24 2009 3:22am
Wow all the time I have been here, first time I spotted this thread. Chances are 9 out of 10, he got sexually abused at some point.

AnonymousSep 24 2009 3:35am
Ok so he is good looking, but maybe he is retarded or possibly shy. Maybe if he can get over his shyness and hold his head high with confidence, some girl will ask him out!!

AnonymousOct 08 2009 3:04pm
Try femdom societies, join feminist organizstions. Become a wiccan. Just go where the women take the inititive and the men follow

AnonymousNov 07 2009 11:38am
Try femdom societies, join feminist organizstions. Become a wiccan. Just go where the women take the inititive and the men follow

AnonymousNov 07 2009 11:39am
Come on people? Yes seeing a prostitute can get off your jollies and relieve some frustrations but it's not the same as a regular unpaid sexual romantic relationship. ANYBODY can hire a prostitute but not just anybody can have a normal girlfriend.

RobertoMar 11 2010 10:25pm
Most people can enter romantic relationship, not everybody though. Sure he might be shy, but you would think in his 38 yrs, some woman would ask him out. Some people just don't have qualities that the opposite sex are looking for. So maybe he needs to accept that fact and learn to live with himself.

AnonymousMay 29 2010 11:07am
Most people can enter romantic relationship, not everybody though. Sure he might be shy, but you would think in his 38 yrs, some woman would ask him out. Some people just don't have qualities that the opposite sex are looking for. So maybe he needs to accept that fact and learn to live with himself.

AnonymousMay 29 2010 11:08am
Most people can enter romantic relationship, not everybody though. Sure he might be shy, but you would think in his 38 yrs, some woman would ask him out. Some people just don't have qualities that the opposite sex are looking for. So maybe he needs to accept that fact and learn to live with himself.

AnonymousMay 29 2010 11:08am
poo happens

AnonymousJul 26 2010 2:21am
Sad fact, you rarely hear of 40 yr old virgins like here because most kill themselves years earlier.

AnonymousAug 03 2010 2:09am
All this is silly there is absolutely nothing wrong with this guy theres no reason whatsoever for thinking he is in any way sick suffering from so-called child abuse or homosexual. He obviously just does not want to get involved with women or have sexual intercourse with them and not with men either.

AnonymousSep 03 2010 7:25am
I'm 35 and never dated but life goes on. Personally, I am just simply shy and my parents messed me up. I have accepted that I may be alone and focused on school and work. I do not think there is anything else to this guy accept shyness. Advice is good but what the guy really needs is acceptance and to find other things he enjoys. After all it is most likely the woman's loss. As for the haters who need to make this guy feel worse, well, to put it kindly, he does not need to feel worse than he might be feeling.

Do not need to know who I amOct 21 2010 3:32am
I think everyone's all thinking this way too complicated and getting way too wound up about it. Perhaps he is asexual? At the end of the day the guy is a 38 year old grown-up. Unlike kids he's old enough to vote, drive, drink, smoke, etc, and especially decide on what's right for him and what he wants to do. I'm pretty sure that he is old enough as an adult to make his own decisions on whether or not he wants to date or not. People in society are so quick to criticize something that is foreign and against the status quo. There are all kinds of people out there and many different paths to take. Just 'cause someone takes the less traveled path don't mean nothing as long as you're happy and satisfied with what you have.

Grown-UpNov 21 2010 12:01am
@grownup. hmmmm....if he really is good looking, some woman would have seeked him out by now. Women can be cruel to guys who dont have it all. Its pretty hard if you are a balding 5ft tall 90 lb male wearing glasses to find a date. Thats a fact! Many in that category do give up or put themselves off the market to avoid the pain of rejection

AnonymousDec 13 2010 9:20am
he could suffer from social phobia like i do or was sexually abused as a kid, like i was and the the reason at the age of 41 that i've never had a boyfriend. i can't stand anyone touching and i thought of sex makes me feel like i'm being molested again

sueJan 30 2011 4:56pm
Is that your problem Sue?? Yeah you are afraid to get close, not just physically. But emotionally

JP manFeb 28 2011 1:09pm
I am a 37yr old male who waited. I was offered to date a lady and end up in bed but I said I was waiting. It was a stupid decesion. I am now 38yr old and no women are interested in dating me. I am open, honest and caring and love to have a great conversation. So yes, once a guy hits 38yr old women pretty much have nothing to do with him. This is my experience....Please do yourself a favor and marry that lady when you are offered.....once that offer is gone you will not get any more chances.....I have tried many, many times....

a stupd guy who waitedMay 06 2011 1:32pm
If he is happy that is Ok. If he wants a female and can't he needs some counselling for issues like shyness. My take is don't worry too much about women because even if you are in a relationship with them they still regard you as lesser people and of course regard your genitals as ugly and rubbish. judging by the polls on male public execution. they regard males as lesser rubbish by saying males should be killed at all costs where women should be spared for same crime as men.

AnonymousSep 09 2011 2:49am
There is a reason for that, and that is he is afraid of intimacy, Seek counseling

AnonymousSep 22 2011 10:26am
I'm 38 and rarely dated. Didn't lose my virginity until age 26 and I was a successful entrepreneur worth over $500,000 before age 30. I'm an avid weightlifter, 6 ft tall, strong and lean, but not a pretty face to look at. I've only been in a sexual relationship for a matter of months out of my life. It's not meant for everyone. Life is not fair. Ugly guys like me have opportunities.. obese women.. women with kids looking for a meal ticket.. but if we don't want to deal with these issues.. then we are stuck being alone. It's really hard to accept..but hey.. life isn't fair. Deal with it & focus your energy on something you can get.

That's life.. get over it.Dec 25 2011 2:28pm
All I can sayis if he is hanging on this site, he must be a fairly petite male.It doesnt matter if she is bigger and stronger. Just show her your charm and intelligence and you will be a giant in her eyes.

AnonymousDec 27 2011 10:24am
I'm 40+ and never... well once I met a woman I liked and she was like me and shy also and we confused each other because neither of us knew what to do so nothing happened. I haven't met any others I like. I certainly am not interested in anyone like those who posted above though. If most people are like this then its for the better that I don't have such a woman. And now I realize I do really know what I want when I see it, but I see way too much of NOT IT.

anon maleJan 28 2012 5:33pm
I was led here by a combination of Google and morbid curiosity and, as a fellow thirtysomething male with a blank romantic canvas, I've come to the conclusion it doesn't bother me. I have painted myself into the good friend/non threatening comedy relief guy corner many times, and, although it frustrated me at the time, I now understand that anything beyond that would have pushed me out of my comfort zone and sent me head first into a world of trouble. You could say I've missed the boat and in a sense you're right but I've never suffered or been hurt and betrayed, so what have I really lost? I've seen quite a few friends pair off and settle down and I'm happy for them, but I also know that kind of life isn't for me. I don't want to play happy families or have to ask anyone else's permission to spend my own money or live my life my way. If being on my own is the price I have to pay for that freedom, so be it. Our friend in the original post might just reach the same conclusion, once he leaves behind all society's expectations and learns to feel comfortable in his own skin.

namelessApr 06 2012 10:29pm
i am 46 and i have never had a date or anyhing like that at all. nothing. i am not good looking and i have many other problems. when people say that guys who have never dated might be gay they are very wrong. i am not the least bit gay and i am only attracted to women. the real truth is that nobody can make anyone like them or want to date them. and another thing, why does everybody think that just because a guy wants women that it means he wants a relationship? there are many people who dont want to be tied down to anyone. i would not want to be in a relationship even if i could get women. i would just prefer to date many women if i could. who would want to be around someone all the time have them nagging them about everything? the truth is that women only want good looking guys and or rich guys for any reason. they dont care how nice a guy is. as a matter of fact they cant stand nice guys, they think those type of guys are weak.

AnonymousJun 03 2012 6:11am
Sounds like me, although not quite as bad. I'm 57 and have never been on a date... well, not really. I've been out with a girl exactly 5 times in my life, and each time the girl made it perfectly clear that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, and each time the date ended quickly - even before it started on a couple of occasions (like when I went to pick the girl up and the first thing she says is "Please be sure to bring me back by 10. I have a party to go to!"

Beyond datelessOct 28 2012 4:41pm
It's me, "Beyond dateless" with a quick follow-up. I just read the comment rrom "Anonymmous" two posts above mine. "the truth is that women only want good looking guys and or rich guys for any reason. they dont care how nice a guy is. as a matter of fact they cant stand nice guys, they think those type of guys are weak." Truer words were never written. Being nice, productive, responsible, etc., is pretty much the kiss of death with women, and they can smell it a mile away.

Beyond datelessOct 28 2012 4:47pm
I have been threatened by strangers for dating..

anonymous.Nov 15 2012 8:21pm
I can sympathize. I suffered from Social Anxiety disorder/severe depression since age 18. I'm now 38, and I've never had a real girlfriend. I've had two sexual experiences with two separate women, but that's it. What bothers me the most is that, at age 38, I realize how much of my life I wasted due to my social fears and depression. It's not just the no-girlfriend thing; it's all the other adolescent/young adult experiences that I missed out on that really bothers me and makes me feel as if I'm not a real person. Heck, there are 15-16 year olds that are more experienced than I, and that's pathetic. I started out so shy and insecure, and I never overcame any of that....and time, of course, moved on. And at 38, I have no interest in women my age.

JasonDec 09 2012 11:47am
Read all this, pretty depressing at times. People are all different, but i believe if you really really want what you know you want you'll get it.

the dudeDec 29 2012 9:04pm
I am thirty and never dated.I am actually very handsome looking (face only) and very muscular being an avid weightlifter....its like fate pulled a jokers card.....several beautiful women have shown clear interest in me,infact several(6)have asked to come to my place!!!.Unfortunately I have self esteem issues coz of a freak skin condition on hidden parts of my body and I don't want to be embarrassed when I take off my clothes and they see their prince charming is a frog and they go tell everyone. I have resulted to paying prostitutes for sex...oohh if my poor mom would know how her beloved son has fell from grace....I have to accept this man I have become.

reptile skin manFeb 03 2013 6:19am
hi! i'm 35 going on 36 and i'm gay!! i have never been kissed or been on a date!! i know how it feels!!

jepxbox77@gmail.comFeb 23 2013 6:20pm
It is very sad how I read some of these ignorant comments from people who think this man's situation is so funny, and they mock him for that! Maybe it is not his fault that he has never dated. Maybe it is the fault of the narrow-minded fools who discriminate him for being single so long. People love to do that to other people. I cannot believe how extremely stupid, unsympathetic, and childish most people are!

MeMar 09 2013 4:13pm
It is a terrible thing to have never had someone that cares about you; to love you and knowing you never will.

lonelyMay 16 2013 10:30am
I am 40 and never really dated much. The few dates I went on when I was in my late teens and early 20s always seemed like work, and I didn't really enjoy myself. I never had sex with any of them either (even though most wanted it) because I was absolutely terrified of knocking one of them up which would only bring disgrace to my family but also force me to quit college and get a job to support the kid. One of the things that really turned me off to the whole dating thing was the fact that nearly every girl I ever tried to date almost immediately started wanting me to make a major commitment before I even really got to know them. One gal even started talking about marriage after the FIRST DATE! The constant pressure to commit when all I wanted to do was just hang out and have fun was such a turn off that I eventually just disengaged and quit asking them out when I was about 20 and never really looked back. Now two decades later, after seeing the marriages of most of my friends fail spectacularly I feel like I made the right decision. Most of them are single at 40 just like I am but I am in much better off financially than any of them are because I haven't forked over half of my assets to an ex wife and her lawyer and I am not paying child support for several kids.

an old bachelorJun 30 2013 1:47am
Unless someone is mentally ill, the lack of dating is mostly about their looks

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My name is christopher snowden and i am a 38 yr old disabled shy virgin from manchester.

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im 42 and technically never had a gf. i dont think i can consider any of the last few women i had a sexual relationship a girlfriend.. i was around 10-15 years older than them.. not all men who have never been in a relationship are losers. when you get a bit older the only women who havent been picked up by now are usually so heavy you would need a crane!

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I am mid 20s never dated before and never will. I have seen to many horrors and lost to much to the point I have nothing left and dating seems pointless. I think its funny though how everyone assumes those who never date are nerds or weak or whatever. I am a fighter, hunter, and a beast and have been through more in my short life than most will ever face, so no not weak or a nerd I am a warrior.

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Just because you lived sheltered lives and have the house, kids and the white picket fence doesn't mean everyone was that lucky and dodged life's sufferings and loses, so all these negative comments about him being a mommas boy or weak are just pathetic you don't know his life or others here so just keep your weak stereotypes to yourselves.

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I'm a 40 year old woman and I'm like the guy I haven't dated or been in a relationship with anybody but I started 2 talk 2 this guy he knows what he whats in a relationship but I don't know he said I was lying because I'm 40 and i never been in a relationship and I never had sex he didn't believe me when I told him that and I don't know what I really want in a relationship because I never been able to talk to the guy because I'm shy around anybody that its my family can u give me an answer to what I'am going through

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I'm a 40 year old woman and I'm liking this guy I haven't dated or been in a relationship with anybody but I started 2 talk 2 this guy he knows what he whats in a relationship and in his life but I don't know what i want in life he said I was lying because I'm 40 and i never been in a relationship and he asked me have I ever had sex and i said no he didn't believe me when I told him that and I don't know what I really want in a relationship because I never been in one and I get scared when I to talk to this guy because I'm shy around anybody that isn't my family can u give me an answer to what I'am going through

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@Ken, you wrote, "I have known guys like that. And in all cases they were still living with their parents. All of it was economic, but a guy especially cannot operate while living with parents. This one guy also never dated in his life until he moved out of his parents when he was 35. He stayed there to help his mom caring for his dad, who had alzheimers. I bet this poor fella is still living at home. If thats the case, he might as well forget dating and take the hooker route. At his age though lets hope he moves out soon!" Dude, you are a very non-empathetic loser!

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