Asked by: firefalcon10 at
04:19:07 PM, Wednesday, August 20, 2014 EDT
FLAG
Advice
JERRY FALWELL. Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.
GEORGE W. BUSH. We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq's former ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
LilyAug 20 2014 1:24pmFLAGIsn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplis life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
ffAug 20 2014 1:24pmFLAGBILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
ffAug 20 2014 1:28pmFLAG
Firefalcon. Some people may believe that what this chicken was doing was wrong but what I think is that this chicken is doing great for man kind it's providing America with no eggs because the chicken's other "side" means of course the rooster side. One day there will be no chickens and when there are no chickens there are no eggs when there are no eggs there are no cakes when there are no cakes there are no fat gay fcked up versions of American, in conclusion this chicken is doing us a great favor, a favor that will benefit the united states of America.
ffAug 20 2014 1:40pmFLAGA little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
>>> Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC, and those crooks deducted $95.00 in taxes.
ffAug 20 2014 1:43pmFLAGGeorge: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
ffAug 20 2014 1:46pmFLAGGeorge: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
ffAug 20 2014 1:46pmFLAGGeorge: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
ffAug 20 2014 1:46pmFLAGGeorge: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
ffAug 20 2014 1:49pmFLAGGeorge: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
ffAug 20 2014 1:49pmFLAGCondi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
ffAug 20 2014 1:50pmFLAGGeorge: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
ffAug 20 2014 1:50pmFLAG
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
ffAug 20 2014 1:51pmFLAGGeorge: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
ffAug 20 2014 1:51pmFLAGGeorge: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
ffAug 20 2014 1:52pmFLAGCondi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
ffAug 20 2014 1:52pmFLAGCondi: You don't want Kofi.
ffAug 20 2014 1:52pmFLAGYou've lost your mind, hahah
-MAug 20 2014 1:53pmFLAGGeorge: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
ffAug 20 2014 1:53pmFLAGGeorge: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
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