A guy really likes me, but I like his best friend, what should i do??
The Problem: Well heres the deal. This guy has liked me for about 5 monthes but he is really not me type at all. We are kind of friends, but I know that if we went out it would never work. But the dilema is that I have a big thing for his best friend. Hes hot, sweet, and caring. But he probably would never go out with me because he would feel disloyal to his friend. What do I do to get him to not feel this way?
Asked by: Hillfillie at
03:28:55 PM, Sunday, April 18, 2004 EDT
FLAG
Advice
hmmmm... that's a tough one. Well, try to get to know this boy better before you strike. try to get to the point where he will like you a lot!!!
I'm really in that same problem, my best bud, he asked me out and i also didnt think he's my type but i didnt say he wasnt. I just told him we should be best friends forever and never go too far in our relationship, so a couple weeks later my crush has asked me out and my best friend is having no big deal about it, hope it goes well for u
dutchessApr 18 2004 8:33pmFLAGThis response was flagged for inappropriate or offensive content.
towelheadApr 19 2004 4:13amFLAGThis response was flagged for inappropriate or offensive content.
AsstroboyApr 19 2004 8:24amFLAGu don't have to choose one or the other...what's wrong with gettin to know them both?
energetic texanApr 19 2004 1:51pmFLAGIf you don't like him just tell him that you do not like him and you only think of him as a friend.
Yankee GirlDec 01 2004 6:38pmFLAG
YOu should tell him that your not interested in him in that way, you just want to be friends. You should go ask his best friend if he wants to go out and if he says no say your ok with it and you are fine being friends.
Tell the TruthMar 12 2005 11:37amFLAGi am in that very same situation 2. it is very difficult. i care for one like i would care for a brother. but i want to take it further with the other guy but then everything gets really complicated because they are best friends. i think that you should tell him how you really feel. tell him that you are not interested in him the way that he is interested in you. tell him taht you still want to be friends granted that he may not feel the same way and then see if you can hook up with the other guy. now i got to go and follow my own advice! good luck.
xoxoAllyJun 01 2005 2:34pmFLAGtell him the truth unlike me
someoneJun 13 2005 10:50pmFLAGi would just ask his best friend if he would mind and if he said no be ok i was just going to make sure and then tell him that he have feelings for his friend and then if his best friend didnt mind he would talk to his friend about you and then yall would get together. see i am in this problem right now also. then a couple of days later i was with the guy that i liked from the beginning.
destiny lewisJun 26 2006 10:31pmFLAGi would just ask his best friend if he would mind and if he said no be ok i was just going to make sure and then tell him that he have feelings for his friend and then if his best friend didnt mind he would talk to his friend about you and then yall would get together. see i am in this problem right now also. then a couple of days later i was with the guy that i liked from the beginning.
destiny lewisJun 26 2006 10:31pmFLAGI think that you should talk 2 the guy that u feel that u wouldn't last long with. You should also tell his bestfriend that you like him and that ur scared that the guy that u like will lose his bestfriend ovr u bcuz u don't like the guy that likes u. He will be so amazed that u actually cared about his friendship and will go out with u 4 that. It always works!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Ayanna ThomasFeb 26 2007 12:43pmFLAGI have 1 piece of advice 4 u honey, whatever u do, DOOOOOOOOOO, NNNNNNNOOOOOTTTTTT, EVER LISTEN 2 WHAT TOWEL HEAD SAYS. THAT IS THE STUPIDIST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD AND U MIGHT GO TO JAIL 4 DOING IT LIKE THE IDIOT SAID.Plain and simple. Straight 2 the point. luv ya bunches.Bye Bye!!!
Ayanna ThomasFeb 26 2007 12:48pmFLAGgo out with the one you like! no one can make you go out with someone! i'm in the same situation. i really like this guy but is friend likes mye a lot. so i am just going to ask the guy that i like because he likes me too. he's asked me out before but i liked someone else then but i still liked him a little. i've gone out with him before like a year ago. well i'm about to call him and use *67 and say i love him and then hang up.
no oneNov 20 2007 6:33pmFLAGJust ask out his best friend then get to know both of them better than hang out with both of them at the same time a couple of times and make sure that yuor boyfriend keeps you updated on if him and his best friend are still best friends
MiNov 05 2009 5:38pmFLAGgirl i am in the same spot i have tried almost all of this and none of them work...although i have not tried towelheads idea and i wouldn't suggest it lol...i guess we should just let time take its toll sooo maybe some things work themselves out lol
lonelygirlJun 20 2010 4:10pmFLAGI'm in the same situation well, almost. The only difference is that his best friend is not really in love with me. I advise you that you should go for the one you like and hope that the other guy will take it. It's better to be happily with the one that you like than being without the one you like and depressed as you see him date someone else.
EvangelineApr 23 2011 7:44pmFLAGI'm in the same situation. I had always liked a guy named Ulises but i was too shy to even say hi to him. One of my friends (Jaqueline) also liked Ulises. One day, one of Ulises friends asked me out, his name was Edward and he
had a HUGE crush on me. Edward seemed like a really sweet guy and I planned on rejecting him gently. But he got his hopes up so much to the point that I would feel horrible if I broke his innocent heart. I then decided to give Edward a chance scince it would now be impossible for me to have a chance with Ulises because he would definetely not date the girl his BEST FRIEND has a huge crush on. I thought that maybe if I gave Edwar I would maybe start liking him too but I was wrong. I learned that I still liked Ulises even though I've dated Edward for 3 months. Not only that, my friend Jaqueline (that also likes Ulises) has started to get really close to Ulises. I don't know what to do, I don't want to hurt Eddie by trying to go out with his best friend but I cant bare seeing my friend and Ulises together. I'm a terrible person!!!
\(^0^)/ Help me!!! I'm going to cry!!!
MitzukiApr 23 2011 8:13pmFLAGMizuki, you are EXTREMELY STUPID!!!!
LilyApr 23 2011 8:20pmFLAG
you should date the guy that you can be yourself around and the guy you dont have to try and impress
gabbie larsonApr 28 2011 11:28amFLAGugh, i am in the same problem... i have loved this guy for ages, then suddenly his best friend confesses his love for me... and the worst bit is that the guy I like is trying to get me and his est friend together as well... i soooo badly want this guy, but he wouldn't go out with me because his friend liked me... :(
KATHLEEEEENJun 17 2011 7:45pmFLAGI have EXACTLY the same problem, i know how you feel. i told the the guy who i like (the bestfried of the guy who likes me) that i like him, and he said he want to aask me out WHEN his bestfriend is over me. (and how the situation is now, thats gonna take a long time!) so i think you should talk to the guy you like....
cheyenneOct 16 2011 10:56amFLAGtalk this guy friend into going for a group date you him the best friend another girl who likes the guy who likes u and reverse it or get the guy who likes u to stop liking u kick him in the nads
maggimamNov 05 2011 7:10amFLAGI feel your pain. Situations like this suck ! I'm in quite a mess myself. My really close friend asked me out, and he really loves me a lot. But, i'm totally into his best friend. And i feel extremely guilty cause i only met him through the guy who asked me out. Also the guy i like is really loyal and would never ever ask me out, cause if his friend. Even though me and the guy i like are reallllyyy close. Basically i think you should just come clean before you drive yourself crazy trying to find a solution !
TazzJan 23 2012 4:00amFLAGi have a same situation.. guys are very loyal to thier friends they would never go for thier friend's crushes..but why shuld the girl suffer i mean u appriciate the other guy feeling but wat about ur feeling..i can't give u agood advice i am stuck with the exact situation
joeyAug 10 2012 9:40pmFLAGi like my friend but his friend like me..
i dont want to get in relationship with his friend
how can i tell that boy i like his friend not him
ayushiDec 07 2012 2:13pmFLAGIm in the EXACT same situation! My plan is lets say get VERY CLOSE to the guy that you DO like but, to the other guy try to just kinda ignore him and dont make eye contact, make it obvious to him that you only want to talk to his friend. Dont even say "hi" or anything that would excite or interest the best friend. Just become really good friends with the guy you like until his best friends crush dies down...
MayeDec 24 2012 6:54amFLAGOMG I'm in the same exact situation. There is this boy that likes me, I like him too problem is the night after he said he liked me his best friend and room mate asked me out. I immediately told his friend no, but how am I supposed to be in a relationship with one without hurting the other. This is too complicated for me and I think I will just say no to him also and hope that if we are meant to be together, we will meet again. I know I will hurt him too but what can I do, I'm hurting myself by doing this. Oh well, lets see how that goes.
gereDec 27 2012 7:59amFLAGi think that u should say to him that u dont like him but his best friend.may be he understands u and will help u for it.......
zieshaFeb 13 2013 3:16amFLAGu r such a dumb girl.....
if he likes u n take care of u than u should accept his proposal
kv sonawatiFeb 13 2013 3:20amFLAGjust dont listen what towel head said..................................................................
she is such a bludy er
johnFeb 13 2013 3:32amFLAGTry them both out first. I don't mean having sex or even kissing either of them, just spend time talking and getting to know each other like you would with a friend. You may end up really happy with the guy that likes you.
The guy that you like (guy 2) needs to feel comfortable with you as a friend so that he might see the future in being with you, that will give him the courage to ask you out regardless of his friend(guy 1). Also, be really careful a lot of guys will make it obvious they like you to everyone and so that every other male he knows will see you as his property even if he is not your boyfriend (guy 1). It's kind of like calling dibs on a girl. To me this is very frustrating and I have found myself in this situation a few times. All the cute guys will pretend they don't really like you because in their mind you are taken.
This is where you have to be the bitch and think selfishly. Flirt (NOT hook up) with other guys that you actually like even when the 5 months guy is around. Do whatever you feel like even if you have to be a tad pushy. I know that guy 2 (if he is single, straight and sees you as being attractive) would love to date you if he saw you as "safe ground". You need to be fun and likeable when you talk to him and make him feel like you value him and that he is important to you. Once you are able to break free from guy 1's imagined ownership over you, there will be absolutely no problem getting guy 2 as long as you play your cards right. This is the time to upload great quality pictures on facebook, show off that a lot of guys find you attractive, do your makeup daily, etc. because then you will be that much more irresistible to guy 2 and he will see you are open to other guys' attention.
Just be a sweet fun girl that values everyone and wants to make friends. You will be seen as approachable and drama free.
motokoMar 25 2013 2:25amFLAGI know exactly what you mean right now. I like this guy, I ended up kissing him last night when we were both drunk but his best mate wanted to get with me and made a deal that if he couldn't have me then neither of them could. Anyway, he found out and has now fallen out with his mate over it. I want the guy I kissed but I'm close to his mate and can't hurt his feelings. I'll just have to bite my tongue and see what happens.
Me.Jun 03 2013 8:51amFLAGI kinda get what ur going through but yeasterday the guy who I liked came over with his bestfried me and the guy I liked have been talking but yesterday it was my first time hanging out with them without school....but the guy who I liked was boring and I did not feel enything with him, but his bestfriend was funny, cool and cute every time the guy I liked would sit next to me I hated it idk why but when his bestfriend sat next to me I just loved beying around him. But I don't want them knowing because I don't want to get in between there friendship. But what people tell me if it was ment to be just give it time don't lead the guy that likes u on just stay friends then after a wial start talking to his bestfriend.
unknownAug 12 2013 11:03amFLAGI'm in the same situation; but I like both of them. I mean one of them asked me out and the other one goes out with me but as friends so I know one of them more and it is not the one that asked me out. So... it sucks. Both are sexy so I just hope I will be able to keep one of them at least but it will always be weird to like both.
me Mar 22 2014 4:59pmFLAGIts the same with me, the guy ive liked for ages, his best friend has apparently liked me for 2 years, thing is hes spoken to me once in 2years and I feel as if the guy I like might like me back but cant because of his best friend and when I ignore the guys that like me I feel a bit bitchy but then the guy I like and me have becomenkinda close but he wont ask me out, so should I day something like we should totally go out sometime but im afaid he wint want to be with me alone!!
hopelessmermaidMay 09 2014 3:56pmFLAGIm so confused
KdcMay 04 2015 3:34pmFLAGI'm honestly in the same situation right now this guy really likes me but I have a crush on his best friend but he has a girl friend and I don't know what to do because the guy really likes meðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
.J.F.Nov 19 2015 7:53pmFLAG
I'm in the same situation I like this boy but his friend likes me and the boy I don't like is getting his sister to get me to date Him but I like him as a friend but I don't think he got that and I couldn't ask out his friend like I was going to two day before it all happens and the worts part is the boy I like likes me back but won't ask me out cuz he don't wanna hurt me so instead he is helping me get with him even tho we both told each other that we liked each other in the end I told the bot I didn't like that I wanted to just be friends and then wants it died down me and the boy I likes dated secretly util we were ready and turns out the boy I didn't like was happy for us and new whe liked each other any way and we all lived happily ever after for now ...
? Mystery girl ?Jul 13 2016 3:17pmFLAGWell my situation is a bit different. My crush is currently a sophomore but the guy who likes me is a senior and my neighbor at my mothers house. The senior likes me and I thought I liked him, but then I met his beat friend( the sophomore). I don't want to date the senior, the age gap between us makes me uncomfortable but then again I don't want to hurt him, he's like a brother to me. The sophomore said I need to tell him how I feel, when I went and asked him what to do. I think the best thing we can all do in this sort of situation is be honest and everything will play out. I'm only a freshman I'm high school and I'm already having to deal with this. Just makes me excited for the issues I'll be facing when I'm older.
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